Monday, April 18, 2011

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall!

I've lost 40lbs (technically 41, as of today) relatively quickly. More or less six months and close to 20% of my body is gone. And it's been bothering me that I kind of don't know what I look like. I know I'm thinner, I know I'm healthier, I know I'm stronger, but I really don't know how the world sees me. I'm still technically OBESE as far as BMI standards go (though very close to overweight! -- more on that later). I'm still a solid 30-40lbs overweight. I was talking about this to one of my friends and she suggested I check out the photographic height/weight chart. Now this is a really cool experiment to show what actual people look like, and that women don't only weigh 130 or below or 240 or above, but many of us sit in that middle area and still look good!

Though they still do not have anyone in two of the slots for my height (for the two highest weights I was, which is too bad).

I talked to Christine about it today and she's said "Well, when you look in your mirror don't you look smaller, more feminine, less boxy, more proportional?" And yes, that's all true, but what I more mean is when someone is walking down the street, and supposedly has never seen me before, what do they think? Overweight? Obese? Chubby? Kind of average? Curvy? And I just have no answers. I know I've come far. I know I look COMPARATIVELY thinner. But I also know I am a far cry from THIN.

This is mostly brought about by a date I had this weekend with this taller, rail thin boy. I usually date guys who have at least a little meat on them. Not overweight, per se, just a little cushiony. This boy had no ounce of pillow to him. And I just wondered, does he think I'm heavy? Heavier? Does it matter? I know he found me attractive, so maybe my weight doesn't even matter in this equation. I look attractive, I like to think I'm fairly good at carrying excess weight (for what that's worth).

Talking to my (naturally thin) coworker, she always says that she doesn't really notice weight. She didn't notice me dropping 35lbs while sitting next to me Monday-Friday. She says that for her, unless you're REALLY heavy or REALLY thin, she just doesn't think about it because it's not noticeable. So maybe there is something to the notion that only the extremes carry? Though I am fairly sure my coworker is an anomaly in all of this.

1 comment:

  1. You're so great! I love your posts. WOOOO on the 40lbs, I am SO PROUD of you. You are an awesome inspiration. And you're super sexy to me.