tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77181356343528497732024-02-20T02:00:08.376-05:00To Be A Foxy GazelleUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger128125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-42899331477029066272014-02-27T10:36:00.001-05:002014-02-27T10:36:19.317-05:00FitnessAh, the f-word: fitness. I go through spurts of feeling like EXERCISE WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING. And then I burn out and quit. But right now I'm re-spurting and trying to add a level of accountability. One of my old friends from middle school is a personal trainer/yoga instructor and I've been reading her blog for a while. It felt like her values and mine kind of aligned. She's also young and engaged and living in Harlem.<br />
<br />
So we had our first session yesterday. We talked a little about goals and fitness levels and then she had me do two circuits. The first one was 15 squats, 15 standing push ups, 15 5-lb pull ups? I don't know what it's called but basically you squat and pull the weights to your chest and then back again and then 25 jumping jacks -- and repeated that three times.<br />
<br />
Then we did an abs circuit (ouch) where we lay on a big ball and pressed up the 5lb weights 15 times, 15 crunches on the ball and 15 things where I lifted one foot at a time and bounced a medicine ball to my left and right while kind of reclining backwards. This was followed by 20 seconds of high knees. Between the circuits we walked (at about 3.5) on the treadmill.<br />
<br />
I felt like she didn't want to kill me but did want to push me.<br />
<br />
Today I HURT. My abs are sore, my upper thighs are sore, my armpits are sore, my chest is sore.<br />
<br />
But I felt good. I did it after all. And having a relationship with someone is motivating. I already have my appointment for next week and my "homework" is to walk 3 miles before then.<br />
<br />
So... fitness!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-12732331459142105852014-02-25T15:15:00.001-05:002014-02-25T15:19:20.842-05:00Pulling backI had a bad night. I was wayyyyy up this morning -- probably due to drinking too much alcohol. You can't actually gain weight as quickly as my scale would have me believe. I'm pulling way back today. Drinking lots of water and I have this baby slow cooking for when I get home. http://www.skinnytaste.com/2013/08/crock-pot-creamy-tomato-soup.html<br />
<br />
I scheduled an appointment with a personal trainer -- a girl I knew from my unhappy middle school days. She and I are meeting tomorrow and I'm really excited about it. I probably won't feel that way on Thursday but so it goes. <br />
<br />
She wants to meet twice a week and if I can get into that routine I will be broke but foxy, right? I need to start living up to my blog's name!<br />
<br />
I'm feeling a little down but I know the appropriate reaction is to pick myself up, learn from mistakes, not punish myself and move forward. I have lost these EXACT pounds in the past so I can do it again. It's not discouraging it's motivating.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-8031046650262466542014-02-21T10:27:00.005-05:002014-02-21T10:55:13.273-05:00SlipsOnce again -- not doing so well.<br />
<br />
As I feel the scale creep up on me, I feel my anxiety spiking as well. I couldn't sleep last night and that's depressing.<br />
<br />
I know I am capable of doing it. I just have to let myself.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-11241302061196457802014-01-29T11:14:00.001-05:002014-01-29T11:14:39.460-05:00Feeling StableSo I finally feel like I'm back in a routine that's familiar. I've been eating a very similar pattern day by day and while maybe it will get boring at some point -- it's working for me now. And I've seen slow but steady weight loss which is really happy and affirming. Two Mondays ago I was down .8 and this Monday I was down another 1.4. Progress! This leaves me exactly 5lbs down from my starting weight. Not losing huge numbers but it's not like there's a race to get down the 20lbs. My wedding is in October so hopefully I'll reach the goal comfortably before that.<br />
<br />
Here's a sample of my regular day.<br />
<br />
Breakfast (10:00am)<br />
Usually some overpriced yogurt. I like the Fage 0% with fruit or honey and I'm LOVING Chobani Flips (Key Lime Crumble, anyone? I die)<br />
Skinny Vanilla Latte<br />
<br />
Somehow the combination of those two leave me satisfied for a couple of hours<br />
<br />
Snack (12:00pm)<br />
I've been having reduced fat string cheese as my mid-morning snack. Not terribly exciting but satisfying enough.<br />
<br />
Lunch (2:00pm)<br />
Usually leftovers or soup or I just bought some sandwich thins and boca burgers.<br />
I usually have something sweet with this -- either some like 90 calorie Fiber One bar or a piece of fruit <br />
<br />
Snack (4:00pm)<br />
I like Zone bars or pistachios (about 25) I'll usually go with one of those and stick with pistachios if I'm planning a higher carb dinner or go with the zone if I'm planning a low carb dinner.<br />
<br />
Dinner (7:30? 8?)<br />
I've been cooking mostly skinnytaste.com recipes because I LOVE HER. I've been aiming for the lower carb items. Tonight I'm making<a href="http://www.skinnytaste.com/2008/03/picadillo-6-ww-pts.html"> Cuban Picadillo </a>and am excited about it.<br />
Sometimes the fiance and I share a grapefruit. Sometimes a fiberone bar. Sometimes nothing.<br />
<br />
Hopefully the next 5 come off relatively smoothly. I imagine I'll have to fight for the last 10.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-38305142365663336192014-01-17T11:34:00.000-05:002014-01-17T11:35:59.751-05:00UninspiredLast night it hit me. I will not get to my target weight in a week. I am not necessarily going to lose 3lbs in a week. I am trying to get myself out of the mild depression that accompanies the beginning of weight loss. I am trying to start enjoying a healthier lifestyle and not punish myself or my body.<br />
<br />
I didn't know what to make for dinner last night and it was bumming me out. Everything I wanted was too high calorie. According to myfitnesspal I only had about 18 grams of carbs left for the day -- which is not many carbs. So no pasta. No rice. No anything. The fiancee was coming home late and I sat at my desk longer than I had to saying no to every recipe I came across. I decided I wanted chicken teriyaki. Not terribly inspired but easy. I was really cranky at this point.<br />
<br />
One of my favorite bloggers over at PriorFatGirl also got back into the health routine and the blog routine. She talks about getting over the first week hump too <a href="http://www.priorfatgirl.com/2014/01/im-on-a-boat-er-will-be.html">here</a>.<br />
<br />
We had leftover cauliflower nibblets from the pizza so I decided to treat that like rice. We stir fried that with a little soy sauce and added a fried egg. I bought a bag of broccoli slaw and used leftover zucchini and mushrooms from the pizza.<br />
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And it was totally fine. The fiancee liked it better than the pizza. It was very veggie-ful. Not the most inspired but there's a little leftover. </div>
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Tonight is date night! We are going to a little pottery studio near my office called<a href="http://mudsweat-tears.com/"> Mud Sweat and Tears</a>. They have a Friday social pottery thing where you make a little trinket or something and hang out. I'm pretty excited about it. The fiancee is planning the dinner beforehand and I'm happy to let him pick something fun for us. </div>
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It will be nice to try and do more experience-related fun activities instead of food-related fun. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-75455618414497516092014-01-16T11:12:00.002-05:002014-01-16T11:16:31.484-05:00Cauliflower PizzaSo this cauliflower crust pizza has been blowin' up on pinterest and the healthy food blogs in general so I thought I'd give it a go as I love pizza but not so much the calories/grease/etc associated with it. Even the fiancee was on board! I used <a href="http://tastykitchen.com/blog/2013/08/cauliflower-crust-pizza/">Tasty Kitchen's recipe</a>.<br />
<br />
Here are my protips to you:<br />
1) This isn't really pizza. The crust actually tastes more like some weird combination between a falafel and a pita. It tastes almost bread-y and not really crunchy or crusty at all.<br />
2) If you are using a food processor, chop the heads really small first and do it in batches. My blades kept getting stuck and I think there was just too much going on. Pulsing it was the most frustrating part of this process for me.<br />
3) I was surprised how well it held together. We worked really hard to drain the cauliflower after microwaving it and I think that helped.<br />
4) I enjoyed it. Fiancee didn't. I think it was a little too convincingly looking for him without being the same taste.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I only remembered to take pictures part way through the process. This is after the crust is baked with the toppings.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's how it looked coming out of the oven.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With hot pepper flakes about to be consumed -- see how the crust didn't fall apart!</td></tr>
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We have some leftover chopped cauliflower and I think I may buy some higher quality cheese
-- I used Fat Free mozzarella but that may have contributed to the lack
of appeal for the fiancee. Either that or try this <a href="http://www.skinnytaste.com/2013/10/cilantro-lime-cauliflower-rice.html#more">Cilantro Lime Cauliflower Rice</a> recipe but I'm worried the cauliflower is a little pureed instead of rice-like.<br />
<br />
Last night I was saying how hard I'm finding it to be dieting again and the fiancee sighed in agreement. He feels like he is on a diet with me. I guess I am the main person who feeds us at home and so he eats what I eat! I appreciate how supportive he is though. He is trying to help me lose the weight that I want to lose and get back into healthier eating patterns for myself. It is interesting how it affects him too -- though he started off our dinner with about half a bag of Ruffles so I do not think he understands "dieting" quite the same way I do. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-65466139300863376642014-01-14T11:15:00.000-05:002014-01-14T11:15:30.962-05:00Still ChuggingWith the exception of a 1/2 of a Levain Cookie I pretty much rocked the diet last week. I was 2.8lbs thinner than I was the previous week. Not too shabby. I think I'm only going to "count" my weight on Mondays -- I admit to being someone who weighs myself fairly regularly.<br />
<br />
My fiancee is on board. He doesn't totally understand all the weight issues -- as someone who really has no experience with it personally or even in his family. They are all small people. I did make it clear that while he can buy whatever crap he wants for himself -- it has to be crap I don't like eating. This is not as restrictive on him as this may sound. I liked rich goods -- cookies, cake, dense, chewy, chocolatey, peanut buttery. Meanwhile he would much rather go with a fruit tart. Or even candy -- lollipops, circus peanuts (gag). My new favorite thing is getting texts from him while he's at the supermarket. "Do you like tapioca pudding?" "No...?" "Okay good!" We are slowly getting together a home system that leaves my apartment as a safe space for me while not being overly prohibitive for him. For dinners he knows to bake instead of pan fry. Pam is a staple. He and I will browse <a href="http://skinnytaste.com/">skinnytaste.com</a> for recipes that look good to him and are appropriately healthy for me. I feel like I'm getting back into a healthy routine.<br />
<br />
Christine was pleased. I am not sending her diaries daily but rather weekly and then we go over all of it together. I like that better than the little encouraging exchanges we do sometimes.<br />
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I'm getting into home cooking -- I'm becoming one of those people attracted to "quick weeknight meals!" I made this last night with some steamed broccoli and the fiancee was spooning up the leftover sauce with a spoon. <a href="http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/07/asian-glazed-drumsticks.html">http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/07/asian-glazed-drumsticks.html</a> Also it is very easy and everything was ready in -- 40 minutes? I keep forgetting to take pictures of the meal. I used thighs instead of drumsticks because I am not actually crazy about drumsticks.<br />
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Anyway, I'm feeling proud of myself. I'm feeling motivated and good and in control. All happy feelings.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-90903512332815812322014-01-08T13:38:00.000-05:002014-01-08T13:38:24.937-05:00Chicken Pot Pie SoupI meant to take a picture for you all when I was cooking it and it doesn't look like much today (ie leftovers and half eaten). But I made a healthy recipe and it had a lot of servings. It's also super filling and comforting in weather like this. I got it from skinnytaste -- my favorite. My fiancee had one big bowl -- and then another -- and we still had probably 4 servings leftover. I'm happy to be back cooking. Any healthy/quick recipes anyone would like to share? Weeknight cooking is my jam.<br />
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Recipe here: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/01/chicken-pot-pie-soup.html#more<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-36728634838534672622014-01-07T11:30:00.000-05:002014-01-07T12:21:42.120-05:00Good daySuccess! Yesterday was a good day. I wrote down everything I ate. I didn't exactly say no to EVERYTHING -- one of my coworkers offered me a buckeye and those things are my favorite ever. But that was the only blip. There were a tin of cookies in the kitchen and I didn't eat one bite. We can call that a success.<br />
<br />
I'm trying to loop a friend or two into starting some kind of lose 10% of your body weight thing. I'm still brainstorming what that would entail but probably:<br />
Touch base daily even if it's just a quick text.<br />
Track everything in myfitnesspal.com and make it viewable to friends for extra accountability<br />
Limit desserts to one item a week. Cut out grazing on truffles and Hershey's kisses etc. <br />
Try and have one meal that's mostly protein and veggies.<br />
<br />
What are other good healthy guidelines? Does anyone want to join?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-76267269810663496212014-01-06T11:47:00.002-05:002014-01-06T11:47:45.318-05:00Let's do this.I guess I've been embarrassed to post. It seems like it might be healthy for me to start writing down my feelings again though. I'm trying to recreate things I was successful with and I guess I count this blog as a success. Anything that keeps me focused and PROUD of weight loss (or even weight loss attempts).<br />
<br />
I have gained about 20lbs from my absolute lowest weight (which means about 15 or so from my lowest maintained). A lot has happened in my life! My boyfriend moved in with me. My boyfriend became my fiancee. I traveled to Israel. I started planning a wedding.<br />
<br />
The holidays are over. I'm sad about my weight but not motivated enough to do anything about it. The last week was bad. I saw Christine this morning and I think she struggles between trying to motivate me but not trying to bum me out. I think some clients respond to the like "THINK OF WHAT YOUR BUTT WILL LOOK LIKE IN A WEDDING DRESS" but that's not really my thing. The worse I feel about my weight the less likely I am to lose weight.<br />
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We talked today about how saying NO to things you want is painful. I find this true. I like being a fun eater. I like cupcakes, and cookies and sweets. I have a hard time saying no, but that brief moment of pain/disappointment will help a lot in the moving forward. So just say it. And it gets easier. And people start responding to it and, once again, you redefine your relationship with food and your friends and then it's a lot easier and you've creative a supportive environment.<br />
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I honestly even toyed with Weight Watchers again -- O the siren call of WW! But no -- I know Weight Watchers doesn't work for me. Instead I will go back to myfitnesspal and track my food. I am PAYING for a gym membership so maybe I should consider using it occasionally.<br />
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Christine gave me the project of writing down everything I ate and if NOT then at least writing down everything "bad" I ate this week. I will try and write it all down. I will chug tea and eat yogurt and eggs and be happy saying no. Because in the end that will make me happier about how I feel.<br />
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I think it's hard to get through the holidays. Christine says the average person gains 3-5lbs in the month of December alone. She feels that I could get down 8lbs quickly and then we'll work to get off the other 10 before the wedding. And then I will be really happy with all of that. Even if I lose 1lb a month I will be a lot closer to where I want to be.<br />
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So. Happy New Year. Here's to losing the 20lbs before my wedding. Here's to using my gym membership. And here's to blogging more and tracking more.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-77378036825235483742013-06-03T10:20:00.002-04:002013-06-03T10:20:55.903-04:00Boring EatingSo I met with Christine this morning and she diagnosed me as being a "casual dieter" and compared it to "casual dating" in that I do it when I do it, but then other times I don't. I flirt with dieting... but not all the time. For example, ordering pasta with seafood instead of with meat sauce and justifying it because clams have like ... NO CALORIES!<br />
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Alas. I know it doesn't work like that.<br />
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She suggested that for the next 10lbs I be a boring eater. To not get creative with my choices but instead have an easy routine of foods that I know are fine. This is beneficial in two ways... it's like ... only healthy food ever and also takes out the uncertainty of eating. I KNOW what I'm allowed to eat and so no guessing and no approximating.<br />
<br />
Here is the general outline:<br />
<br />Breakfast<br />
English Muffin Light OR Bagel Thin <br />
WITH<br />
2/3 cup of cottage cheese OR two slices of Jarlsberg lite OR 1 whole egg<br />
<br />
Mid Morning<br />
Cabot Cheese Light Square AND 100 Calorie Snack Pack<br />
OR<br />
Chobani 0% Yogurt<br />
OR<br />
2 Fruit<br />
<br />
Lunch<br />
BIG Salad with Chicken or Turkey and pretty much whatever veggie toppings I want. Stay away from nuts, avocado and cheese if possible.<br />
<br />
Afternoon<br />
Zone Bar<br />
OR<br />
Luna Bar<br />
OR<br />
Chobani Yogurt<br />
OR<br />
2 fruit<br />
<br />
Dinner<br />
Chicken OR Fish OR Salmon OR Shrimp<br />
WITH<br />
Vegetables<br />
<br />
Dessert<br />
Skinny Cow or WW something<br />
<br />
That's it. Boring, right? I'm going to Hawaii in June and I'm thinking I should resolve to stick to this for the next few weeks. I gotta look good in a bathing suit right?<br />
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I'm also thinking I might try some at home yoga videos Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-69872668388960922782013-05-21T11:42:00.000-04:002013-05-21T11:42:39.538-04:00Getting SettledI got a new job! I am now the Executive Assistant at a large Off-Broadway theater company. It's a big adjustment. There is food... but less of it. It's not like my last job where every time I was hankering for a sweet... I could get one! I have my desk stocked with oatmeal and Zone bars. I've bought apples and cottage cheese and I feel like I'm setting myself up well.<br />
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I've also moved back into my apartment! I have a functioning kitchen. Things are finally beginning to settle down in the land of Anna. <br />
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On a less happy note, my favorite pants don't fit. I bought some bright green pants in Italy last year and I can squeeze them on but it's just not comfortable. No questions as to where that extra 10lbs has gone. I weighed in at Christine's yesterday the lowest I've been in a while and then proceeded to eat too much yesterday. Including a piece of chocolate cake and really no sense of the damage I did at a buffet. This morning I feel disappointed but I know it's time to just pick up my feet, order a salad for lunch and have that be okay.<br />
<br />
I really need to try and start journaling again. The issue with journaling is two-fold. I start getting obsessive about it in a way that I'm fixated on food and when I'm really fixated on food, I tend not to succeed. The other part of it is, like everyone I'm sure, I hate journaling when I don't eat well. So I don't and then it just becomes this game of me patting myself on the back when I eat well but not really addressing the bad eating habits. <br />
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So I bought some new green-ish pants. Reluctantly. Got reacquainted with myfitnesspal.com and am going to try and lose 8-10lbs between now and June 29 (when I go to Hawaii with my parents and boyfriend). I feel like getting back to my formerly steady weight will make me feel good and charged for the summer. <br />
<br />
Woo!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-57093398616307959252013-04-11T10:58:00.000-04:002013-04-11T11:05:37.204-04:00How to deal with this?So I'm feeling better.<br />
<br />
Not that I've magically dropped 10lbs, but for the first time in a while, I'm starting to feel like I can get my head back in it. However I know I'm looking at a lot of calories tomorrow. And part of me just wants to partake.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is my last day as a receptionist. Probably (hopefully) forever. I've been at my job since August 2011 and I'm really scared and excited for my next step. Some of my coworkers are taking me out for drinks tomorrow night at a little pub across the street... and I want to partake! I know my office will throw me a "surprise" goodbye party... and I want to partake!<br />
<br />
Part of this harkens back to my "spoiled" eating pattern. I WANT IT SO I WILL HAVE IT. Though it sort of boils down to the fact that I CAN'T have everything I want, right? If I could, I certainly wouldn't be in this predicament. So how do I deal with myself?<br />
<br />
I think I can count on cupcakes being my goodbye treat. I could have one.<br />
<br />
And then just drink light beer with my coworkers?<br />
<br />
It feels so weak! So lame! I want to celebrate. I like FUN eating. I like CELEBRATORY eating. Light beer? No! Margarita time! Mojito time!<br />
<br />
Alas.<br />
<br />
Time to email Christine, I fear. <br />
<br />
Part of me also feels like I DESERVE it because I went to a yoga class this week (my first bout of exercise in a looooooooooooooooong time). And I feel every ounce of every muscle of my body. I can hardly walk. It's borderline pathetic. To be fair, it was a HARD class and a really challenging instructor. If it was slow-flow or a beginning Hatha class I probably would've fared okay. This means I can scarf down cupcakes and drink copious amounts of alcohol... right?<br />
<br />
Any tips on how to deal with "spoiled" impulses? Is there a compromise that can keep me happy?<br />
<br />
EDIT: Christine's Advice<br />
Just eat
salad for lunch one cupcake, and salad for dinner with some chicken or
tuna of fish or egg white omelette, to bring calories from the rest of
the day way down! Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-65280798443432292182013-04-09T12:23:00.001-04:002013-04-09T12:23:15.273-04:00Muffin on my deskSomeone made a very nice gesture and put a muffin on my desk this morning as a "I'll miss you when you leave Lincoln Center! Have breakfast on me!" kind of deal.<br />
<br />I am trying hard not to eat it.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd share.<br />
<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-18842082584020099932013-03-26T11:08:00.001-04:002013-03-26T11:08:36.773-04:0010lbs upOnce again, I find myself struggling.<br />
<br />
I went to Christine yesterday and she looked through her notes and in a year I gained 10lbs. Though, honestly, most of that weight was gained between December and now. Holiday weight I guess.<br />
<br />
I just feel generally unfocused and prior to Christine I probably on average gained about 10lbs a year.<br />
<br />
I eat when I'm bored.<br />
I eat when I'm stressed.<br />
I eat when I'm tired.<br />
I eat to celebrate.<br />
<br />
I feel like there's rarely a time when I have ideal conditions for losing weight. Not bored but not stressed. Happy but not tired. Happy but not TOO happy.<br />
<br />
Right now, my apartment is being renovated so I'm kind of homeless. I'm in the midst of a job search. I guess things are unstable. But overall, I feel like I just don't want to diet.<br />
<br />
Part of me thinks I should just try. And if I just try a little, things will work out eventually. I think I need to make a commitment to food journaling and sending it to Christine.<br />
<br />
The issue there is when I mess up, I don't want to send it to her. But those are probably the days she most needs to see.<br />
<br />
When I was 10lbs lighter I still wanted to lose weight and found it incredibly difficult at that point and maybe this is just discouragement. Why bother? I can't lose it anyway.<br />
<br />
WW was a huge success and then a huge bust.<br />
<br />
What to do, friends? Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-71556885818778499712012-11-09T12:04:00.000-05:002012-11-09T12:04:43.338-05:00Off the WagonAs of this morning I am up 6lbs from my lowest maintained weight. Considering how difficult it was to lose them it's a little appalling how easy it is to come back.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You know it's bad news when weight loss bloggers disappear. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have a lot that I want to blame. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Stress</div>
<div>
Sandy</div>
<div>
Medications</div>
<div>
Life</div>
<div>
Birthday</div>
<div>
Boredom</div>
<div>
Job</div>
<div>
Family</div>
<div>
Etc</div>
<div>
Etc</div>
<div>
Etc</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not fair. The fact is. Once I got off... I wanted to stay off. I missed the foods I'd prided myself on staying away from. Fried foods (REALLY!?) back in the picture. Chocolate (excessively) back in the picture. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've prided on myself on turning a healthy leaf and it is all too clear to me how easy it is to flip back.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I think Weight Watchers is not for me. I really can't put my finger on it, but I really really really think it allows too much freedom for me. The bottom line is I need to NOT eat certain foods except in EXTREME moderation. Once I'm "allowed" everything, I flip.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm not better yet. I'm not back on the wagon yet.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I did show up to work armed.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Armed with strawberries, a bar, a grapefruit, steamed veggies, and a frozen meal. Disappointed. Yes. Distressed. Yes. Scared that the light that turned off will STAY off. Yes.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What I'm trying to remind myself is when I started this whole shebang ... the light was off. There is a way to force the light on and I've done it before. HOW? I am not sure, but the fact is, I have done it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Christine says it's hard to force people to get motivated. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What is my motivation? </div>
<div>
Health is kind of intangible ... and honestly my health hasn't significantly improved with the tens of pounds lost. </div>
<div>
I feel like at this point my weight and happiness are not super tied together. Why I am happy or unhappy is separate from my weight. I think.</div>
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Friends? I have friends! They don't judge?</div>
<div>
Clothes? Material girl I'm not though I would find it distressing to stop fitting into my clothing.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does anyone have advice? How do you force yourself away from the fat and onto the wagon?</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-51895600691707695782012-09-04T12:20:00.001-04:002012-09-05T09:57:58.698-04:00Inner Fat GirlI read this little open letter the other day and it got me thinking: <a href="http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html">http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html</a><br />
<br />
I think if you didn't know my story and we met on the street, I'd look about average weight. Maybe on the curvier end of average, but I don't think my weight would stand out particularly. My frizzy hair, my big lips, my chipping nail polish are likely more distracting than my size 8 pants and medium shirt. However, whenever I see an overweight woman, I feel as though she is my kindred spirit. Especially if she's exercising or eating a salad -- dressing on the side. But even not.<br />
<br />
When I see overweight people trying to change their habits to become healthier, I have a great sense of oneness with them.<i> Me too! Me too! I think. Let's do this together. How about you read my blog? Do you have one? I hate jogging... maybe we can run the reservoir together. We don't need to talk (I can't run and talk at the same time) but we can just BE together. We can do this TOGETHER. </i><br />
<br />
And then I think if some size 8 chica with a medium shirt was sitting across from me 70lbs ago, I probably would think something like: "Her. I'm not asking to be THIN or SKINNY. I just want to look normal. Like her. Why is it so easy for some people? Why not me?"<br />
<br />
That size 8 girl would not be on my team. She would not be in my CLUB. She has it EASY.<br />
<br />
But then there's the question of my inner fat girl. Do I lose her? Probably never completely. Probably lessens with time. Do I have it easy? Did I make it easy? It still feels hard sometimes. Is my inner fat girl allowed to be friends with their inner fat girl? Or is my membership revoked? How does this work? Or is the point to GET RID of my inner fat girl. Make her no part of me anymore.<br />
<br />
I'm different (am I?)! I've changed (have I?)!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-18711058701156826642012-09-04T12:08:00.001-04:002012-09-04T12:08:32.894-04:00PlanningIn the past (even like ... 2 months ago), if I got into a situation where I was eating poorly, I would simply take a step back the next day and try and compensate to the best of my ability. If pizza was for dinner then ... fine. I'd do pizza and a light beer and call it done. Next day: eggs, salad, whatever. And then I figured most of the damage was reversed.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I should be clear: I actually think that way of eating/compensating is healthy. I was not WAY overdoing anything and moderation is the key to weight loss success. Skinny people overeat (I know I say this constantly... but it's true). Skinny people don't get caught up in negative spirals of self-hate and punishment and lash out by negating efforts and stuffing themselves from that point out. Anyway, that's beside the point. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Weight Watchers is teaching me to be even more moderate than I was being before. If I know I'm going to be in a situation where food is going to be a hard choice. I can plan for it. Salads and fruit that day. My boyfriend really wanted a bbq pulled chicken sandwich. In the past I would've said, "Special treat. Special night. Back on track tomorrow." Weight Watchers allows me to sit back and say, alright. Pulled chicken - 5 points, bun - 4 points, BBQ sauce - 3 points, beer in sauce - 2 points. 14 point sandwich. How do I treat the rest of my day accordingly? So that even when I want to splurge, I don't have to go off my diet to do it. I can eat a 26 point day while having a 14 point sandwich.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm a solid planner. I feel like I've been a fairly good planner throughout this process. So Weight Watchers allows me to plan for splurges even better than I did before. Also, I know this speaks for itself, but being OPEN about dieting and Weight Watchers has been really useful for me. I am trying to lose weight. I am counting points and so yes, we can get brunch but then we have to get salad or eggs for dinner. That's that. I've found that people respect that but have a harder time accepting your eating choices when they don't know WHY. Like oh no, we can't go to the pizza place or the Thai place or the Chinese place etc etc etc. Last night, I was at dinner with a friend and said I only have 6 points left so we have to get creative about dinner. She understood. I got poached eggs. Everyone was happy. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-7212934145547931002012-08-29T13:05:00.001-04:002012-08-29T13:06:21.593-04:00Calorie is not a Calorie?I thought this was an interesting article on calories. <a href="http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2012/08/27/the-hidden-truths-about-calories" style="background-color: white; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;" target="_blank">http://blogs.<wbr></wbr>scientificamerican.com/guest-<wbr></wbr>blog/2012/08/27/the-hidden-<wbr></wbr>truths-about-calories</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;">/</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;">I don't totally understand what it all means. It also seems like we usually OVERESTIMATE calories which is not really a big problem in the great scheme of things. Considering so many Americans are overweight anyway if they WERE trying to calculate calories isn't it better to overestimate. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;">I don't know.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman', sans-serif;">Thoughts?</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-47595014836414196502012-08-28T10:24:00.000-04:002012-08-28T10:24:37.825-04:00Scared of SkinnySo I'm doing Weight Watchers, yes? Presumably to lose weight, yes?<br />
<br />
I have been a little lax-er this week with my diet. Actually consuming some of my Flex points of whatever they call them these days. WW gives you an extra 49 points a week to use (or not) at will.<br />
<br />
Step on the scale this morning and see the lowest weight I've seen in recent memory. And instead of feeling happy about it, I sort of panicked. I don't really know why. Maybe I'm used to being this weight by now? Maybe I didn't think it would actually happen and now that it's happening I am not sure how to process it?<br />
<br />
But... just keep chugging right? I guess I'm still trying to understand and I think I'm still a little un-clearly panicky.<br />
<br />
Weird, right?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-92083190827796739602012-08-23T12:30:00.002-04:002012-08-23T12:30:52.733-04:00Anna Watches Her WeightYesterday I went back to Weight Watchers with my father. He lost 3.8lbs and I lost 3.2. Quite a lot for one week. I have an unfair advantage though as I was just about to get my time-of-the-month last week. But nothing like a little extra boost. I stepped on my scale this morning and saw a weight I haven't seen since March. Nice to feel like the changes I'm making are working.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What's the difference? Honestly, portion control. I have trained myself to eat in a very healthy manner. I go gaga at the farmer's market. I broil fish and eat peaches like it's my job. And I seriously enjoy doing it. Of course, I have a penchant for unhealthy foods. I love chocolate. I can eat a jar of peanut butter in a couple days. I like fried things. I like greasy things. But I'm fairly comfortable repressing all that at this point and keeping the unhealthy choices as SOMETIMES. There does seem to be just plain eating too much and I think that's what Weight Watchers is helping me reassess. A cup of pasta... 1/5 of my daily intake is NOT a lot of pasta. Also Weight Watchers puts an incredible emphasis on fruit and vegetables. So now, if I want to snack, I'm grabbing a grapefruit or orange instead of a Luna Bar (5 points). </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm shocked how quickly I can burn through points. I'm also shocked that I'm allowed unlimited fruits and vegetables (more or less). </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I first joined Weight Watchers in the seventh grade. They had a branch a couple blocks from my apartment. I remember my mom calling and seeing if a 12 year old was allowed to join. I was (I wonder if that's still true). Crazy that that's half my life ago now. What a long struggle this has been. I actually really enjoyed going to meetings. I was kind of the mascot of the group. I think the ladies liked having a kid around. My mom would accompany me to meetings. Sometimes I'd bring random friends from school to sit in with me. Weight Watchers was a social event. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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I don't quite remember when I stopped. Probably got busy with school. Went to summer camp. Was in a play. Didn't have time for it. Didn't have the focus for it. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I joined again in high school. This time without my mother. This time with a growing despair; a growing unhappiness towards my body. It didn't stick. I'd lose weight and be really into the program but the SECOND I reached a hiccup it would be Armageddon. I'd grow resentful, unhappy, unfocused and lose energy and motivation. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I joined a second time in high school. This time with a friend of mine. Same story. Initial interest, eventual dissipation. Every time I'd swear this was it. This was the time I was going to lose all the weight. My friend would put olive oil on her chicken to grill it and I'd insist she count the points for the oil. She got annoyed with me, I got annoyed with her. We stopped going.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I joined a third time in high school. This time with my father. My dad is like me except has a longer attention span. My dad when he sets his mind to something follows through 100%. It's insane. I don't think at this point I was ready to be back. It was pressure from home. An over involvement of my family and my desire to appease everyone. I stopped going. My dad kept going. Unintentionally shaming me. My dad lost around 30lbs, looked svelte. I was still fat. Still unsuccessful. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Off to college.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
True to form, I gained my freshman 15. I tried a different diet, lost 40lbs. Gained 40lbs somewhere in my junior year. Senior year I decided I would try to lose weight again. I signed up for Weight Watchers online. And guiltily kept paying for it far longer than I was using it. I'm not even sure I really did much toward it. I remember my boyfriend at the time was on my computer when I got an email update from them and I felt so humiliated. How could he know I was trying to lose weight? I'm sure he didn't think twice about it. But, years later, I remember that horrific moment.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After graduating I started an incredibly emotionally taxing and stressful job where I gained another 15 pounds. My "before" picture to the right is a pretty solid example of that time. I was big. I felt big. Not unattractive, but a large person. My BMI was close to 38 (keep in mind "obese" is a BMI of 30, "healthy" is below 25 -- I was farther away from "overweight" than a borderline "obese" person was from "healthy"). I joined Weight Watchers again, encouraged by a wonderful coworker. I went to a few meetings. I halfheartedly kept <a href="http://www.weightwatchers.com/">www.weightwatchers.com</a> open on my browser. I tracked sometimes. Eventually, again, I stopped. Weight Watchers was not for me, I ultimately concluded. Clearly I was no good at this. No attention for this. And this would NOT be where I would lose my weight.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Finally found a new job. An incredibly boring job. A three person office for a job that one efficient person could do part-time. Around the same time I got a call from my internist (who I had tried to forcibly remove from my weight) with Christine's name and phone number. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Christine is amazing. Simply amazing. I'm not totally sure how she got through to me but considering we're approaching our two year anniversary, she's done incredibly well. I've dropped (from her last calculation) 69lbs. I try to be a healthy person. I am trying to renegotiate all the relationships in my life (both with myself, food and inter-personally). And then I hit a bump. I don't know if it's fair to call it a plateau because I think I was eating to sustain my weight. I was eating to maintain and I really had trouble imagining cutting out food. So I sit within 10lbs for a year. I honestly don't think I was significantly heavier than I am right now a year ago. maybe 6-8lbs? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And so finally, it's time to try something new. My Google Reader is FILLED with blogs of people trying to be healthy and/or lose weight. Chock full of them. A really resonant strand is Weight Watchers. So many of the people I follow use Weight Watchers to help them achieve their goal. And I have focus now. It's taken a lot to get me down to this weight. I have a degree of motivation (my stronger motivation will always be to not feel deprived/hungry). And I finally thought that maybe this was it. Maybe Weight Watchers could help me now. Maybe it was not right in the past but it is now.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My father needs to lose weight. He's getting older, it's putting stress on his body. He'll be healthier thinner. That's fact. He just needs a push in the right direction. A roll down the hill to get him on the band wagon again. I figured even if I decided Weight Watcher wasn't for me, at least it would be a good thing to get my dad on the program.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A while back I found the weigh in book from the first time I ever went to Weight Watchers. My starting weight was somewhere around 127 pounds. I continue to be depressed that I saw myself as needing to change my body. That I managed to gain almost 100lbs since the first time I conceived of myself as overweight. 127 isn't even my GOAL weight at this point. I don't think I'll ever be 127lbs again and that is just peachy. I just wish my 12 year old self had a clue.</div>
<div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />I'm feeling really happy and comfortable in Weight Watchers (for the one week I've been on it --- stay tuned as always). My boyfriend helps me tally points at the end of the night. I reach out to friends/coworkers for support. It's not a humiliating act. It's not a negative act. I feel REALLY good about where my body is at this point in time and I also feel really good about the changes and mindfulness that are accompanying it. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-33198787952780632522012-08-20T11:38:00.004-04:002012-08-20T11:53:30.226-04:00Weight WatchersSo I did it.<br />
<br />
For the BILLIONTH time in my life, I joined Weight Watchers. Went to my first meeting on Wednesday were a buff middle-aged gay man named Roger lectured us on which alcoholic beverages were points-friendly and where to get the most bang for your buck. I've long since given up heavy drinking (except on my birthday -- so sue me!). But it was still nice to feel like there were other people surviving on light beer and vodka sodas. I don't usually like meetings (this is from the 10000000 times I've joined Weight Watchers), but it's probably good for accountability.<br />
<br />
And so far, I'm liking the plan. I have the minimum number of points they assign which at first I was thrilled about. CHECK IT OUT WORLD, I'M SO SKINNY! But the following day was a harsh reality check. WTF!? 4 points in a fat free YOGURT? I can't eat ANYTHING! Though now I've figured out a sort of balance. Basically they give you all fruit and most veggies for 0 points. SO... anytime I get hungry, I snack on that. Christine used to warn me about overdoing it on fruit but I'm putting that out of my head now since I feel like my eating/portions have been severely restricted.<br />
<br />
One of my coworkers who used to be on Weight Watchers said to just think of it as a game. Think of the math and points etc as fun. Now I would not go so far as to say I'm having a BLAST here but there is something satisfying about having a concrete goal. I also am not ashamed about it? Is that weird? I feel like formerly I was embarrassed for needing to/trying to lose weight. It would be my secret. Now that I'm thinner I find it easier to be open about my weight loss goals. I'm not sure why that is exactly.<br />
<br />
It's also really nice to do it with my dad. He's so anal that it lets me do a little less work because if I get dinner with him, he calculates everything. (It got to the point where he was looking up points values for Pam... I was like... Dad that's nothing. Don't worry!) I feel thinner already though most of that is probably taking off the little bit I put on over the past few weeks. Though that's nothing to scoff at either. I see Christine tomorrow so I'll get a better sense of how this is all going for me then.<br />
<br />
But I'm feeling happy and balanced. Usually when I diet TOO seriously I get fed up and eat a ton. Weight Watchers is nice in that nothing is severely off limits. And any diet where I'm allowed unlimited fruit (within reason) is probably a good match for me. I even managed to cook a baby-versary dinner for my boyfriend (9 months... but why not celebrate?) consisting of pesto and chocolate covered strawberries and only went 2 points into my reserve bank. I think he's sort of sickly fascinated by Weight Watchers too and laughs trying to calculate the amount of points he eats in a day (like... double mine... at least... stupid young male metabolism).<br />
<br />
So here's to Weight Watchers and taking off the last 10-15lbs. Still working on it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-23490031391520047192012-08-10T14:41:00.003-04:002012-08-10T14:42:10.348-04:00Pull Back DietingI'm sorry. It's been close to a month.<br />
<br />
I've started countless entries but I either get interrupted midway or I just can't find the words to express where I'm at right now.<br />
<br />
Last Monday I saw Christine and had somewhat of a rude awakening. I'd gained weight. Nothing drastic, but still an awakening. I was up about 5lbs from my lowest weight (keeping in mind I never maintained my lowest weight) and 3lbs up from where I was maintaining pretty consistently. I know I'd been lazy and lax but honestly, after two years of dieting (well... almost anyway... I started seeing Christine in October of 2010), I'm kind of sick of it. I want to go out and get drinks and have some fries and a burger sometimes. I just DO.<br />
<br />
I sat in Christine's office and I said that I forgot what I was doing. I forgot I was trying to get healthy. I allowed myself to be an emotional eater -- something that when I was heavier I used to brag about not being. "I don't soothe my soul with food... I just like eating!" but somehow my relationship with food has changed. Somehow now, food is a comfort, when I never saw it as such before. It could be that I overate so consistently that I just didn't connect overeating with comfort. It wasn't particularly different from my 'normal' eating patterns.<br />
<br />
Christine said, "Let's try something. For 7 days I tell you what to eat for a change." Usually Christine gives you guidelines and suggestions/hints but at the end of the day I'm telling her what I ate. Time to flip it.<br />
<br />
She gave me something called the Pull Back Dieting Plan. Looking at it feels kind of atrocious, honestly. But today, as I'm into day 4, I'm actually finding it pretty reasonable. I'll outline it for you here (pick one food from each line).<br />
<br />
<b>Breakfast</b><br />
<ul>
<li>1 egg; 2 eggwhites; 1 oz cheese; 2/3 cup cottage cheese; 2 slices fat free cheese</li>
<li>1 apple; 1 orange; 1/2 grapefruit; cup of berries; peach</li>
</ul>
<b>Snack (optional)</b><br />
<ul>
<li>1/2 cup FiberOne original</li>
</ul>
<b>Lunch </b><br />
<ul>
<li>1 can water-packed tuna; 1 cup cottage cheese; 6oz broiled fish; 4oz roast beef; 6 shrimp; turkey burger; veggie burger</li>
<li>Salad with 2T fat free dressing with any veggies except peas, corn, beans or beets</li>
<li>Fruit</li>
</ul>
<b>Mid-Afternoon</b><br />
<ul>
<li> 2 pineapple rings; 4 prunes; apple; small banana; Luna bar; fat free yogurt</li>
</ul>
<b> Dinner</b><br />
<ul>
<li>6oz hamburger; 6oz fillet mignon; 8 shrimp; 8 medium scallops; 6oz fish; 1 chicken breast; 1 chicken leg/thigh (no skin)</li>
<li>1 small baked potato; 1 cob of corn; 1 cup of peas; 2/3 cup rice; small dinner roll; English muffin</li>
<li>Salad (see above)</li>
<li>Broccoli; cauliflower; asparagus</li>
</ul>
<b>Bedtime (optional)</b><br />
<ul>
<li>1 diet hot cocoa; 1 fat free yogurt; 1 cup skim milk; 1 WW fudge bar; fruit; 100 calorie popcorn; VitaMuffin Top </li>
</ul>
And there it is. Does that seem difficult to anyone but me? You're actually eating pretty frequently throughout the day. Most of it is pretty natural/fresh which I like. I think this would be hard to do in the winter because I NEVER want to eat salad in the winter. The great thing about doing this though is I don't have to stress about choices. I can say no easier because I can tell everybody in my life that I'm on a strict diet this week... and no one pushes me. It also allows me to not think about food. I can only pick and choose from this list. No exceptions. And it's so short lived that I feel like I can do this.<br />
<br />
I've added a coffee in the morning because it helps me feel full (and I have it on good authority it will only make me as fat as the milk I put in it).<br />
<br />
I'm feeling more focused and centered about my diet than I have before. I had a party at the farmer's market yesterday and I just sauteed up some tomatoes, zucchini and yellow squash for lunch with some broiled fish. Delightful.<br />
<br />
The troubling part of this all though is the SECOND I left Christine's office on Monday I started STUFFING MY FACE. In a real and seemingly destructive way. I remember even thinking that "Look at you sabotaging yourself..." but did not want to adjust my behavior. I bought a muffin and ate the whole thing even though I wasn't hungry. I got yogurt (full fat) with granola and fruit and honey. I got a sandwich with PESTO and CHEESE (LORD HAVE MERCY), I got a salad with a creamy dressing, I got a brownie, I got Ethiopian food and ate more than my share of it. All in one day. Probably pick any one of these by itself and it's not so bad (not so great either). I got on my scale that night and saw a number I had not seen in... a year?<br />
<br />
I will not beat myself up about it. Instead, I will pull back. I will remember that there are more important things and that my body, health and well being should always top that list. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-12286678918006623082012-07-17T11:30:00.000-04:002012-07-17T11:30:03.619-04:00Global Fat ScaleThe BBC has this fun little Global Fat Scale Calculator where you put in your height/weight/gender/age/location and it tells you how you stack up against populations around the world.<br />
<br />
My results:<br />
<br />
<br />
<h1 style="background-color: #ececec; clear: both; color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 1.7em; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 1em; margin: 3px 0px 4px; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;">
Your numbers</h1>
<div class="result_column" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #505050; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; height: 135px; line-height: 16px; width: 182px;">
<b>Obesity Index</b><br /><div class="number bmi_number" style="color: #f3661e; font-size: 1.2em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 42px; margin-top: 16px;">
<span class="result_bmi" style="font-size: 2.8em; line-height: 1em;">26</span>bmi <a class="rollover_icon" href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18770328#help_rollover_1" style="color: #4a7194; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/magazine/12/average_wage/img/popup.png" style="-webkit-user-select: none; border: 0px; color: #505050; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0px;" /></a></div>
BMI is an <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tools/bmi_calculator/bmi.shtml" style="color: #4a7194; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">estimate</a> of how "overweight" or "obese" a person is</div>
<div class="result_column result_column2" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #505050; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; height: 135px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 61px 0px 44px; width: 165px;">
<b>National</b><div class="number result_national" style="color: #f3661e; font-size: 1.7em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 52px; margin-top: 14px;">
Below average</div>
You have a <span class="result_national_word">lower</span> BMI than<span class="result_national_number" style="color: #f3661e; font-weight: bold;">59%</span> of <span class="user_description">females aged 15-29</span>in your country</div>
<div class="result_column result_column3" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #505050; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; height: 135px; line-height: 16px; width: 165px;">
<b>Global</b><div class="number result_global" style="color: #f3661e; font-size: 1.7em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 52px; margin-top: 14px;">
Above average</div>
You have a <span class="result_global_word">higher</span> BMI than<span class="result_global_number" style="color: #f3661e; font-weight: bold;">81%</span> of <span class="user_description">females aged 15-29</span>in the world</div>
<br style="background-color: #ececec; clear: both; color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;" /><br />
<br />
You know... at first I was like ... wow. Globally I'm still a fatty.<br />
<br />
And then I plugged in my "before" weight and I'm feeling pretty good.<br />
<br />
<br />
<h1 style="background-color: #ececec; clear: both; color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 1.7em; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 1em; margin: 3px 0px 4px; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;">
Your numbers</h1>
<div class="result_column" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #505050; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; height: 135px; line-height: 16px; width: 182px;">
<b>Obesity Index</b><br /><div class="number bmi_number" style="color: #f3661e; font-size: 1.2em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 42px; margin-top: 16px;">
<span class="result_bmi" style="font-size: 2.8em; line-height: 1em;">38</span>bmi <a class="rollover_icon" href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18770328#help_rollover_1" style="color: #4a7194; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/magazine/12/average_wage/img/popup.png" style="-webkit-user-select: none; border: 0px; color: #505050; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: 0px;" /></a></div>
BMI is an <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tools/bmi_calculator/bmi.shtml" style="color: #4a7194; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">estimate</a> of how "overweight" or "obese" a person is</div>
<div class="result_column result_column2" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #505050; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; height: 135px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 61px 0px 44px; width: 165px;">
<b>National</b><div class="number result_national" style="color: #f3661e; font-size: 1.7em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 52px; margin-top: 14px;">
Above average</div>
You have a <span class="result_national_word">higher</span> BMI than<span class="result_national_number" style="color: #f3661e; font-weight: bold;">98%</span> of <span class="user_description">females aged 15-29</span>in your country</div>
<div class="result_column result_column3" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #505050; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helmet, Freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; height: 135px; line-height: 16px; width: 165px;">
<b>Global</b><div class="number result_global" style="color: #f3661e; font-size: 1.7em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 52px; margin-top: 14px;">
Above average</div>
You have a <span class="result_global_word">higher</span> BMI than<span class="result_global_number" style="color: #f3661e; font-weight: bold;">100%</span> of <span class="user_description">females aged 15-29</span>in the world</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7718135634352849773.post-27282047374405778282012-07-11T11:22:00.000-04:002012-07-11T11:35:22.977-04:00Are you tired of eating?I'm feeling better.<br />
<br />
Since my realization that my non-dieting wasn't working out, I've tried to be more mindful. I've been bringing lunches (lazy lunches ie blueberries, cottage cheese, hard boiled egg -- but still!). I'm trying to cut carbs out of one meal a day (has been lunch so far). I've chosen salads, dressing on the side. I'm feeling good about it. I think maybe it was important for my psyche to relax a little bit. I mean almost 1.5 years of DIETING is exhausting and then when you stop seeing results it starts feeling futile (of course it's not futile... I am much much thinner than I ever thought I'd be). But now it's time to get in gear again, to make smart choices.<br />
<br />
That being said, I'm on the search for REALLY quick grab and go lazy summer lunches. My crockpot was great for the summer but it all seems too heavy for the summer. Cottage cheese is great and all but... getting old.<br />
<br />
Christine posed a theory to me on Monday. She told me of a client she had who lost a lot of weight with her and then disappeared, stopped returning calls etc. He recently called her (a year or two later) to say that he needed to see her again and had gained all the weight back. She said there's a point with heavy people where they get tired of eating. She asked me if that was my experience and my gut reaction was ... no. I love eating. I could go get a cheeseburger with fries, a milk shake, and a piece of chocolate cake right now and really enjoy eating it. I frequently feel like it would not be so hard for me to slip back into bad habits.<br />
<br />
Confession: there was a night not too long ago where my I knew boyfriend was cooking me dinner (he usually fries chicken but he baked it because he knew I was coming over and it was healthier ... aww!). I had to run home to get some things and I stumbled into my kitchen ... suddenly wanting to eat everything in my way. I noticed leftover chinese food ... cold sesame noodles and shrimp dumplings slathered in peanut sauce (omg so good) and I ate it all. Just like that. And then I went to my boyfriend's apartment and had dinner. Why eat the leftovers if I knew I was getting a tasty (and filling) meal? Could this be the action of someone on a diet? Of someone tired of eating? Granted I didn't feel good about it. I told my boyfriend I wasn't feeling that well and so I didn't OVEREAT over there but still.<br />
<br />
But I don't mean to dwell. I firmly believe that dwelling is the least constructive thing you can do. The trick is to look forward.<br />
<br />
I know I've said this before but it's worth repeating:<br />
<br />
Skinny people overeat. Just not all the time.<br />
<br />
I think instead of getting tired of eating, I hit a point where I got tired of my weight being an "issue." And at the same time, I had Christine who made it pretty simple to start losing weight. Her initial stance with me was EAT LESS THAN YOU DID. So basically if you went to a company picnic and had three brownies last year and you had two brownies this year... that's progress. Something was very intuitive about what she was teaching me. Eat less. Not eat nothing, not eat raw or vegan or clean or Paleo. Just less. And I started seeing results. There was a run of probably close to a year where I lost weight every single week. I was getting such tangible results. And now here I am. The novelty of skinnier-Anna has worn off. Most people are used to the way I look. I think I've lost under 10lbs in the past year. I'm still waiting to post my 70lbs down picture because it seems like I can't maintain 70lbs down and so that feels dishonest.<br />
<br />
But I'm proud of myself for maintaining. I'm proud that I still see Christine. I'm proud that I still try to live my life in a healthy way (even if I do trip up sometimes). I'm proud that my boyfriend knows to bake chicken when I'm coming over. I'm proud that friends constantly ask me for health/nutrition advice.<br />
<br />
I'm proud that I've come such a long way.<br />
<br />
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Sassy stance (and my most popular Facebook photo ever!)</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2