Monday, June 3, 2013

Boring Eating

So I met with Christine this morning and she diagnosed me as being a "casual dieter" and compared it to "casual dating" in that I do it when I do it, but then other times I don't. I flirt with dieting... but not all the time. For example, ordering pasta with seafood instead of with meat sauce and justifying it because clams have like ... NO CALORIES!

Alas. I know it doesn't work like that.

She suggested that for the next 10lbs I be a boring eater. To not get creative with my choices but instead have an easy routine of foods that I know are fine. This is beneficial in two ways... it's like ... only healthy food ever and also takes out the uncertainty of eating. I KNOW what I'm allowed to eat and so no guessing and no approximating.

Here is the general outline:

English Muffin Light OR Bagel Thin
2/3 cup of cottage cheese OR two slices of Jarlsberg lite OR 1 whole egg

Mid Morning
Cabot Cheese Light Square AND 100 Calorie Snack Pack
Chobani 0% Yogurt
2 Fruit

BIG Salad with Chicken or Turkey and pretty much whatever veggie toppings I want. Stay away from nuts, avocado and cheese if possible.

Zone Bar
Luna Bar
Chobani Yogurt
2 fruit

Chicken OR Fish OR Salmon OR Shrimp

Skinny Cow or WW something

That's it. Boring, right? I'm going to Hawaii in June and I'm thinking I should resolve to stick to this for the next few weeks. I gotta look good in a bathing suit right?

I'm also thinking I might try some at home yoga videos Tuesday and Thursday mornings. 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Getting Settled

I got a new job! I am now the Executive Assistant at a large Off-Broadway theater company. It's a big adjustment. There is food... but less of it. It's not like my last job where every time I was hankering for a sweet... I could get one! I have my desk stocked with oatmeal and Zone bars. I've bought apples and cottage cheese and I feel like I'm setting myself up well.

I've also moved back into my apartment! I have a functioning kitchen. Things are finally beginning to settle down in the land of Anna.

On a less happy note, my favorite pants don't fit. I bought some bright green pants in Italy last year and I can squeeze them on but it's just not comfortable. No questions as to where that extra 10lbs has gone. I weighed in at Christine's yesterday the lowest I've been in a while and then proceeded to eat too much yesterday. Including a piece of chocolate cake and really no sense of the damage I did at a buffet. This morning I feel disappointed but I know it's time to just pick up my feet, order a salad for lunch and have that be okay.

I really need to try and start journaling again. The issue with journaling is two-fold. I start getting obsessive about it in a way that I'm fixated on food and when I'm really fixated on food, I tend not to succeed. The other part of it is, like everyone I'm sure, I hate journaling when I don't eat well. So I don't and then it just becomes this game of me patting myself on the back when I eat well but not really addressing the bad eating habits.

So I bought some new green-ish pants. Reluctantly. Got reacquainted with and am going to try and lose 8-10lbs between now and June 29 (when I go to Hawaii with my parents and boyfriend). I feel like getting back to my formerly steady weight will make me feel good and charged for the summer.


Thursday, April 11, 2013

How to deal with this?

So I'm feeling better.

Not that I've magically dropped 10lbs, but for the first time in a while, I'm starting to feel like I can get my head back in it. However I know I'm looking at a lot of calories tomorrow. And part of me just wants to partake.

Tomorrow is my last day as a receptionist. Probably (hopefully) forever. I've been at my job since August 2011 and I'm really scared and excited for my next step. Some of my coworkers are taking me out for drinks tomorrow night at a little pub across the street... and I want to partake! I know my office will throw me a "surprise" goodbye party... and I want to partake!

Part of this harkens back to my "spoiled" eating pattern. I WANT IT SO I WILL HAVE IT. Though it sort of boils down to the fact that I CAN'T have everything I want, right? If I could, I certainly wouldn't be in this predicament. So how do I deal with myself?

I think I can count on cupcakes being my goodbye treat. I could have one.

And then just drink light beer with my coworkers?

It feels so weak! So lame! I want to celebrate. I like FUN eating. I like CELEBRATORY eating. Light beer? No! Margarita time! Mojito time!


Time to email Christine, I fear.

Part of me also feels like I DESERVE it because I went to a yoga class this week (my first bout of exercise in a looooooooooooooooong time). And I feel every ounce of every muscle of my body. I can hardly walk. It's borderline pathetic. To be fair, it was a HARD class and a really challenging instructor. If it was slow-flow or a beginning Hatha class I probably would've fared okay. This means I can scarf down cupcakes and drink copious amounts of alcohol... right?

Any tips on how to deal with "spoiled" impulses? Is there a compromise that can keep me happy?

EDIT: Christine's Advice
Just eat salad for lunch one cupcake, and salad for dinner with some chicken or tuna of fish or egg white omelette, to bring calories from the rest of the day way down!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Muffin on my desk

Someone made a very nice gesture and put a muffin on my desk this morning as a "I'll miss you when you leave Lincoln Center! Have breakfast on me!" kind of deal.

I am trying hard not to eat it.

I thought I'd share.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

10lbs up

Once again, I find myself struggling.

I went to Christine yesterday and she looked through her notes and in a year I gained 10lbs. Though, honestly, most of that weight was gained between December and now. Holiday weight I guess.

I just feel generally unfocused and prior to Christine I probably on average gained about 10lbs a year.

I eat when I'm bored.
I eat when I'm stressed.
I eat when I'm tired.
I eat to celebrate.

I feel like there's rarely a time when I have ideal conditions for losing weight. Not bored but not stressed. Happy but not tired. Happy but not TOO happy.

Right now, my apartment is being renovated so I'm kind of homeless. I'm in the midst of a job search. I guess things are unstable. But overall, I feel like I just don't want to diet.

Part of me thinks I should just try. And if I just try a little, things will work out eventually. I think I need to make a commitment to food journaling and sending it to Christine.

The issue there is when I mess up, I don't want to send it to her. But those are probably the days she most needs to see.

When I was 10lbs lighter I still wanted to lose weight and found it incredibly difficult at that point and maybe this is just discouragement. Why bother? I can't lose it anyway.

WW was a huge success and then a huge bust.

What to do, friends?