Thursday, February 27, 2014


Ah, the f-word: fitness. I go through spurts of feeling like EXERCISE WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING. And then I burn out and quit. But right now I'm re-spurting and trying to add a level of accountability. One of my old friends from middle school is a personal trainer/yoga instructor and I've been reading her blog for a while. It felt like her values and mine kind of aligned. She's also young and engaged and living in Harlem.

So we had our first session yesterday. We talked a little about goals and fitness levels and then she had me do two circuits. The first one was 15 squats, 15 standing push ups, 15 5-lb pull ups? I don't know what it's called but basically you squat and pull the weights to your chest and then back again and then 25 jumping jacks -- and repeated that three times.

Then we did an abs circuit (ouch) where we lay on a big ball and pressed up the 5lb weights 15 times, 15 crunches on the ball and 15 things where I lifted one foot at a time and bounced a medicine ball to my left and right while kind of reclining backwards. This was followed by 20 seconds of high knees. Between the circuits we walked (at about 3.5) on the treadmill.

I felt like she didn't want to kill me but did want to push me.

Today I HURT. My abs are sore, my upper thighs are sore, my armpits are sore, my chest is sore.

But I felt good. I did it after all. And having a relationship with someone is motivating. I already have my appointment for next week and my "homework" is to walk 3 miles before then.

So... fitness!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Pulling back

I had a bad night. I was wayyyyy up this morning -- probably due to drinking too much alcohol. You can't actually gain weight as quickly as my scale would have me believe. I'm pulling way back today. Drinking lots of water and I have this baby slow cooking for when I get home.

I scheduled an appointment with a personal trainer -- a girl I knew from my unhappy middle school days. She and I are meeting tomorrow and I'm really excited about it. I probably won't feel that way on Thursday but so it goes.

She wants to meet twice a week and if I can get into that routine I will be broke but foxy, right? I need to start living up to my blog's name!

I'm feeling a little down but I know the appropriate reaction is to pick myself up, learn from mistakes, not punish myself and move forward. I have lost these EXACT pounds in the past so I can do it again. It's not discouraging it's motivating.

Friday, February 21, 2014


Once again -- not doing so well.

As I feel the scale creep up on me, I feel my anxiety spiking as well. I couldn't sleep last night and that's depressing.

I know I am capable of doing it. I just have to let myself.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Feeling Stable

So I finally feel like I'm back in a routine that's familiar. I've been eating a very similar pattern day by day and while maybe it will get boring at some point -- it's working for me now. And I've seen slow but steady weight loss which is really happy and affirming. Two Mondays ago I was down .8 and this Monday I was down another 1.4. Progress! This leaves me exactly 5lbs down from my starting weight. Not losing huge numbers but it's not like there's a race to get down the 20lbs. My wedding is in October so hopefully I'll reach the goal comfortably before that.

Here's a sample of my regular day.

Breakfast (10:00am)
Usually some overpriced yogurt. I like the Fage 0% with fruit or honey and I'm LOVING Chobani Flips (Key Lime Crumble, anyone? I die)
Skinny Vanilla Latte

Somehow the combination of those two leave me satisfied for a couple of hours

Snack (12:00pm)
I've been having reduced fat string cheese as my mid-morning snack. Not terribly exciting but satisfying enough.

Lunch (2:00pm)
Usually leftovers or soup or I just bought some sandwich thins and boca burgers.
I usually have something sweet with this -- either some like 90 calorie Fiber One bar or a piece of fruit

Snack (4:00pm)
I like Zone bars or pistachios (about 25) I'll usually go with one of those and stick with pistachios if I'm planning a higher carb dinner or go with the zone if I'm planning a low carb dinner.

Dinner (7:30? 8?)
I've been cooking mostly recipes because I LOVE HER. I've been aiming for the lower carb items. Tonight I'm making Cuban Picadillo and am excited about it.
Sometimes the fiance and I share a grapefruit. Sometimes a fiberone bar. Sometimes nothing.

Hopefully the next 5 come off relatively smoothly. I imagine I'll have to fight for the last 10.

Friday, January 17, 2014


Last night it hit me. I will not get to my target weight in a week. I am not necessarily going to lose 3lbs in a week. I am trying to get myself out of the mild depression that accompanies the beginning of weight loss. I am trying to start enjoying a healthier lifestyle and not punish myself or my body.

I didn't know what to make for dinner last night and it was bumming me out. Everything I wanted was too high calorie. According to myfitnesspal I only had about 18 grams of carbs left for the day -- which is not many carbs. So no pasta. No rice. No anything. The fiancee was coming home late and I sat at my desk longer than I had to saying no to every recipe I came across. I decided I wanted chicken teriyaki. Not terribly inspired but easy. I was really cranky at this point.

One of my favorite bloggers over at PriorFatGirl also got back into the health routine and the blog routine. She talks about getting over the first week hump too here.

We had leftover cauliflower nibblets from the pizza so I decided to treat that like rice. We stir fried that with a little soy sauce and added a fried egg. I bought a bag of broccoli slaw and used leftover zucchini and mushrooms from the pizza.

And it was totally fine. The fiancee liked it better than the pizza. It was very veggie-ful. Not the most inspired but there's a little leftover. 

Tonight is date night! We are going to a little pottery studio near my office called Mud Sweat and Tears. They have a Friday social pottery thing where you make a little trinket or something and hang out. I'm pretty excited about it. The fiancee is planning the dinner beforehand and I'm happy to let him pick something fun for us.

It will be nice to try and do more experience-related fun activities instead of food-related fun.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Cauliflower Pizza

So this cauliflower crust pizza has been blowin' up on pinterest and the healthy food blogs in general so I thought I'd give it a go as I love pizza but not so much the calories/grease/etc associated with it. Even the fiancee was on board! I used Tasty Kitchen's recipe.

Here are my protips to you:
1) This isn't really pizza. The crust actually tastes more like some weird combination between a falafel and a pita. It tastes almost bread-y and not really crunchy or crusty at all.
2) If you are using a food processor, chop the heads really small first and do it in batches. My blades kept getting stuck and I think there was just too much going on. Pulsing it was the most frustrating part of this process for me.
3) I was surprised how well it held together. We worked really hard to drain the cauliflower after microwaving it and I think that helped.
4) I enjoyed it. Fiancee didn't. I think it was a little too convincingly looking for him without being the same taste.

I only remembered to take pictures part way through the process. This is after the crust is baked with the toppings.

Here's how it looked coming out of the oven.
With hot pepper flakes about to be consumed -- see how the crust didn't fall apart!

We have some leftover chopped cauliflower and I think I may buy some higher quality cheese -- I used Fat Free mozzarella but that may have contributed to the lack of appeal for the fiancee. Either that or try this Cilantro Lime Cauliflower Rice recipe but I'm worried the cauliflower is a little pureed instead of rice-like.

Last night I was saying how hard I'm finding it to be dieting again and the fiancee sighed in agreement. He feels like he is on a diet with me. I guess I am the main person who feeds us at home and so he eats what I eat! I appreciate how supportive he is though. He is trying to help me lose the weight that I want to lose and get back into healthier eating patterns for myself. It is interesting how it affects him too -- though he started off our dinner with about half a bag of Ruffles so I do not think he understands "dieting" quite the same way I do. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Still Chugging

With the exception of a 1/2 of a Levain Cookie I pretty much rocked the diet last week. I was 2.8lbs thinner than I was the previous week. Not too shabby. I think I'm only going to "count" my weight on Mondays -- I admit to being someone who weighs myself fairly regularly.

My fiancee is on board. He doesn't totally understand all the weight issues -- as someone who really has no experience with it personally or even in his family. They are all small people. I did make it clear that while he can buy whatever crap he wants for himself -- it has to be crap I don't like eating. This is not as restrictive on him as this may sound. I liked rich goods -- cookies, cake, dense, chewy, chocolatey, peanut buttery. Meanwhile he would much rather go with a fruit tart. Or even candy -- lollipops, circus peanuts (gag). My new favorite thing is getting texts from him while he's at the supermarket. "Do you like tapioca pudding?" "No...?" "Okay good!" We are slowly getting together a home system that leaves my apartment as a safe space for me while not being overly prohibitive for him. For dinners he knows to bake instead of pan fry. Pam is a staple. He and I will browse for recipes that look good to him and are appropriately healthy for me. I feel like I'm getting back into a healthy routine.

Christine was pleased. I am not sending her diaries daily but rather weekly and then we go over all of it together. I like that better than the little encouraging exchanges we do sometimes.

I'm getting into home cooking -- I'm becoming one of those people attracted to "quick weeknight meals!" I made this last night with some steamed broccoli and the fiancee was spooning up the leftover sauce with a spoon. Also it is very easy and everything was ready in -- 40 minutes? I keep forgetting to take pictures of the meal. I used thighs instead of drumsticks because I am not actually crazy about drumsticks.

Anyway, I'm feeling proud of myself. I'm feeling motivated and good and in control. All happy feelings.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Chicken Pot Pie Soup

I meant to take a picture for you all when I was cooking it and it doesn't look like much today (ie leftovers and half eaten). But I made a healthy recipe and it had a lot of servings. It's also super filling and comforting in weather like this. I got it from skinnytaste -- my favorite. My fiancee had one big bowl -- and then another -- and we still had probably 4 servings leftover. I'm happy to be back cooking. Any healthy/quick recipes anyone would like to share? Weeknight cooking is my jam.

Recipe here:

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Good day

Success! Yesterday was a good day. I wrote down everything I ate. I didn't exactly say no to EVERYTHING -- one of my coworkers offered me a buckeye and those things are my favorite ever. But that was the only blip. There were a tin of cookies in the kitchen and I didn't eat one bite. We can call that a success.

I'm trying to loop a friend or two into starting some kind of lose 10% of your body weight thing. I'm still brainstorming what that would entail but probably:
Touch base daily even if it's just a quick text.
Track everything in and make it viewable to friends for extra accountability
Limit desserts to one item a week. Cut out grazing on truffles and Hershey's kisses etc.
Try and have one meal that's mostly protein and veggies.

What are other good healthy guidelines? Does anyone want to join?

Monday, January 6, 2014

Let's do this.

I guess I've been embarrassed to post. It seems like it might be healthy for me to start writing down my feelings again though. I'm trying to recreate things I was successful with and I guess I count this blog as a success. Anything that keeps me focused and PROUD of weight loss (or even weight loss attempts).

I have gained about 20lbs from my absolute lowest weight (which means about 15 or so from my lowest maintained). A lot has happened in my life! My boyfriend moved in with me. My boyfriend became my fiancee. I traveled to Israel. I started planning a wedding.

The holidays are over. I'm sad about my weight but not motivated enough to do anything about it. The last week was bad. I saw Christine this morning and I think she struggles between trying to motivate me but not trying to bum me out. I think some clients respond to the like "THINK OF WHAT YOUR BUTT WILL LOOK LIKE IN A WEDDING DRESS" but that's not really my thing. The worse I feel about my weight the less likely I am to lose weight.

We talked today about how saying NO to things you want is painful. I find this true. I like being a fun eater. I like cupcakes, and cookies and sweets. I have a hard time saying no, but that brief moment of pain/disappointment will help a lot in the moving forward. So just say it. And it gets easier. And people start responding to it and, once again, you redefine your relationship with food and your friends and then it's a lot easier and you've creative a supportive environment.

I honestly even toyed with Weight Watchers again -- O the siren call of WW! But no -- I know Weight Watchers doesn't work for me. Instead I will go back to myfitnesspal and track my food. I am PAYING for a gym membership so maybe I should consider using it occasionally.

Christine gave me the project of writing down everything I ate and if NOT then at least writing down everything "bad" I ate this week. I will try and write it all down. I will chug tea and eat yogurt and eggs and be happy saying no. Because in the end that will make me happier about how I feel.

I think it's hard to get through the holidays. Christine says the average person gains 3-5lbs in the month of December alone. She feels that I could get down 8lbs quickly and then we'll work to get off the other 10 before the wedding. And then I will be really happy with all of that. Even if I lose 1lb a month I will be a lot closer to where I want to be.

So. Happy New Year. Here's to losing the 20lbs before my wedding. Here's to using my gym membership. And here's to blogging more and tracking more.