Monday, December 5, 2011

Recap

My Perfect Week went just about as perfectly as it could've. I planned. I brought lunches. I brought healthy snacks. I didn't feel bad about saying no. I avoided Friday Snack, I drank lots of water, I went to my coworker's birthday and DIDN'T drink alcohol (even Christine didn't understand this one "You mean you left your apartment, went to midtown, and didn't drink? Why?" Why? Because I like my coworker and wanted to celebrate with her!).

Though I suppose as predicted, I had a little trouble with my Long Island friends. I was told that when I got in, we'd all go to brunch. I can do brunch. Two eggs. Toast. Bruch: done. When we walked into the brunch place I knew it wouldn't be as easy as all of that. They literally had an entire ballroom buffet. Dozens upon dozens of tables of food: penne a la vodka, sliced meats, omelette bar, french toast, sausage, bacon, and an entire WALL of desserts. I was shocked. And unprepared. So I tried to make do.

Before I touched a plate I walked around the entire place. I was a little sad to see the salad bar was tiny (literally mixed greens, tomatos, cucumbers and croutons) with only creamy (or Russian) dressings. Really? Tucked away in the back, I noticed a seafood section! Lox, white fish, crab claws. I knew I'd start there. The omelettes were being doused in oil. I picked up a taste of the fish section, I went over to the french toast section and lo and behold, the guy there had eggs for poaching! So I added a poached egg and half an English muffin to my plate. And then I filled it out with some cucumbers and tomatos.

And got criticized. My friends were all like "That's all you're eating!?" And coming off a perfect week I was a little stressed. I kept saying yes, and that I didn't have a SMALL amount of food. They kept pushing and I started feeling like it wasn't worth it and that I should just grab some more food to appease them. I grabbed some more fish and crab even though I wasn't hungry for it. Then they started commenting that I was only picking at the healthy stuff! They know I'm on a diet! Of course I am!

Finally dessert course came and I got some fruit and berries. More critique of my food choices.

Why is this everyone/anyone's business?? I just don't get it. I'm not sitting here commenting on every bite of food you put in your mouth. You're an adult. Make your choices. I'll make mine. Fine? Fine.

I remember back to when I started this whole thing, I stopped going out with friends. I knew that when I was out with friends 1) I ate 2) I was expected to eat and 3) I'd REALLY WANT to eat. And now I know why that helped so much. The Old Anna would have just caved. Or not even be making choices to cave FROM. I'd go for the omelette, and chocolate fountain, and pasta, fried chicken, bagels. I love my friends but at that brunch I felt like they weren't being good friends.

I felt okay about the choices I made given the situation though.

The most disheartening thing was going to Christine and only losing .25lb. I couldn't believe it. I've been SO good this week. I emailed her EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. I stuck to the diet like I did when I was first on it. And that was it. She said to just keep going, I'm doing everything right and it will come off soon. And then, of course, I went home and ATE. Not bad foods per se... just quantity. Two bars, a bowl of soup, spoonfulls of peanut butter, rice cakes. Why did I feel like this was an appropriate response? To be upset about a lack of weight loss and have the answer be EAT MORE? What was I thinking?

I just did a whole big FreshDirect order so I should be pretty well stocked with supplies for this week which is a good thing. I just need to have faith that if I stick to my diet, I will lose. Losing .25 of a pound is losing weight. And that's the goal, right? Celebrate, Anna! Don't get down on yourself.

Some pictures from the weekend!
Dancin' on a tree stump!

Family portrait under the Christmas Tree my friends ended up getting!

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