Winning?

Yesterday morning I was late to work.

I set my alarm for 6:30 and all but slept in my gym clothes. Lunch was packed. Everything was ready. I crawled out of bed at 7 and ran to the gym. As I was chugging away at the elliptical I remembered the slow cooker meal that I didn't get a chance to prepare the night before. I still had the shopping list on a post-it note. So I figured... why not? Get it done.

I ran my sweaty self to the grocery store and gave myself 5 minutes to grab everything. 10 minute later I was home. My roommate was in the shower so I started chopping. I forget chopping in my ingredient prep time. I need to get better knives. Or one of those as-seen-on-TV choppers! By the time my roommate got out of the shower. I was almost done preparing my ingredients. And had 30 minutes to get to work (it takes me about 20 if everything is working more or less in my favor).

So a decision: go to work sweaty, oniony and garlicky? Shower and push it?

I opted to shower. Figuring it was probably the best choice for everyone around me. Myself included.

And then the trains were SERIOUSLY delayed.

Is this a win?
Fit
Fed
Fresh

Or a lose?

Also the dish I made (from Skinnytaste.com) was really good! I served it with a side of quinoa (kosher for Passover!!) and another skinnytaste recipe.
Crockpot Chicken La Criolla
Asparagus with Turkey Bacon (I substituted turkey bacon for the prosciutto)

I wish I remembered to take pictures! It made enough for me, my boyfriend and three lunches!

Great Weekend!

Happy 2012 everyone!

I had a truly wonderful new year's weekend. I went down to DC to see my college roommates and it was totally lovely. I took a lot of pictures. I left from a crowded Penn Station.

When I got to DC, my friend met me at the train station and took me to this adorable bookshop/cafe. I got spicy vegan tomato soup (so freaking good!) and a quinoa, cashew, carrot and sundried tomato salad. It was super tasty and felt nice to have a lovely meal after sitting on a train.

We then went shopping for the party. I thought the shopping cart gave us away. I insisted we buy carrots and hummus (my friend is a reader of the blog and a very good sport).

The party was glitter themed and my other friend in DC tried to convince me to wear this to the party. It did not work, but I did end up feeling like a pretty mermaid for about 10 minutes.

I really didn't feel like I overdid it at the party. Having the carrots there just to munch on was infintely helpful. There were also fondue fixings and I will admit to dipping a few pretzels into the mix... but I do think the amount of chocolate that stuck was pretty minimal. I didn't drink much and so I didn't get drunk munchies either. I also made a little pact with my friend before I even went to DC. We didn't bring it up at the party but it was nice that I had some unspoken support there.

Though this was FAR from a dry party. Champagne bottles lined the windowsil.

 And there was a solid bar complete with a sombrero.

 New year's day my friends and I reunited for a day of snuggles and crossword puzzles. Very low key. No sightseeing but just a really perfect weekend.

I had Monday off as well and met a friend to go shopping. I bought this blazer and the pants as well!

 I didn't buy any of this outfit but I was really proud to be fitting in 29 Uniqlo skinny jeans.

The lighting in H&M was subpar but I bought this dress too. What you can't see is it has an exposed zipper running down the back. Very cute.



So now... I'm poor! But very happy. Shopping with my friend was really nice (she also has lost a lot of weight lately) so we had fun admiring our new outfits.

I'm grateful to have the amount of support I do. Here's to a great 2012!

Size 10!

I know Ms. Tinawi had a post like this, and as I sort of am trailing her in her weight loss journey, it's fun to hit the same milestones.

There were two things that directly contradict one another troubling me in my life:
1) I've lost 50+ pounds, I have no clothes that fit me.
2) I HATE shopping. With a passion.

Now why I hate shopping might be worth exploring. I don't like not fitting into clothes. I am indecisive about clothes. I don't have much money to spend. I get tired easily. I hate crowds. I hate fitting rooms. I hate lines.

And that's only the tip of it. I can remember so many disappointing shopping trips. Not fitting into size 16 pants. Fearing having to switch over to the "Wides" or plus size clothing. I remember crying fits with my mom when I was as young as middle school, over which size I was. Shopping has always been for me a traumatic and unsatisfying experience.

However, the situation of having no clothes was getting dire. I went through my closets with some friends and we ended up throwing away almost 20 pairs of pants (not to mention all the shirts/sweaters/suits/jackets). As I stared at all the empty hangers in my formerly filled closet, I knew it was time.

Now, my aunt is an A+ shopper. You have never seen anything like it. I certainly hadn't. For a while, the solution to my shopping detestation was to tell her what I needed and have her go up to her house in the Pocanos, sift through the outlet mall, bring back a bunch of clothes for me to try on, and return whatever didn't fit. Now this solved two problems 1) my unending hatred of shopping 2) her compulsion to shop, without financial or space consequences. However this time was different. She told me she wasn't sure on what size I was or what I was wearing now, so I needed to go up to the Pocanos with her to try things on.

Nice things about shopping in the Pocanos with my aunt:
1) I'm with my aunt. She is a no-judgey, no-nonsense kind of shopper. I don't usually feel bad about myself as a person shopping with her.
2) She knows the crossings like the back of her hand.
3) She can tear through racks like a Tazmanian Devil and come out with handfuls of clothing that look good but you'd never guess it.
4) She can assess within 30 seconds of walking into a store whether or not you will find anything worthwhile in it.
5) Pennsylvania has no sales tax on clothes.
6) It was memorial day weekend, so the sales were UNREAL.

Bad things about shopping in the Pocanos with my aunt.
1) There are over 100 stores in the crossings.
2) It was memorial day, the sales were awesome, there were probably a million people there.
3) My aunt has the most unreal stamina you can imagine.

So, good outweighed the bad. I remember at the start of our shopping trip BOTTOMS were the most important thing on my mind. We were in J-Crew and I was sifting through bunches of cute skirts looking for my right size. I pull out a pair of 14 and my aunt says, "Oh, I don't know about that..." And I was like, well I've been a 12/14 mostly so... and she was like. "Hm... well... try this too." And she pulls out a size 10 skirt. I gave her a funny look but she ignored it and we continued. The 14 literally drooped on me. I could probably squeeze it off without undoing the zipper. It was definitely too big. And the 10 fit perfectly. I was shocked. L sized shirts were looking baggy, and my aunt had every single sales lady in J-Crew running around looking for smaller sizes for me.

It was a totally unreal experience.

I think it digs back to the issue of not knowing what I look like. I'm in a weird place between Average and Fat Girl. I still am carrying a lot of weight on my body, and I know that. But I've been feeling more and more normal. I can wear shorter skirts, dresses, higher heels. I'm fitting into sizes I can't remember the last time I fit into.

I know this post requires some pictures. Maybe soon!

FF Day 2

So I think yesterday I finished up with my as-little-fat-as-possible well. I went to my parent's and my mom had cooked fish, rice and veggies. Granted I'm sure there was plenty of butter and oil involved, but it was SO delicious. Mom is a really awesome cook these days. I stocked up on Chiobani yogurts and some cottage cheese for good measure. I seriously think the pomegranate Chiobani is my favorite. It actually has little seeds in it!

This morning was a little tragic though. I ended up going to a bar downtown with a couple of friends last night and though I didn't drink (well fine ... maybe 1/4 shot of whisky), I stayed out WAY later than expected and I finally was in bed at 1:30am. I had strong intentions of running this morning, but I'm already feeling a little under the weather and tonight is going to be another late night so I opted for sleep over exercise. The easier choice, I know, but I also think it was probably the right one in this scenario. I'm still feeling a little sickly and my boss is out with the flu, so I'm a little nervous about my levels of sickiness. Either way, I woke up charged! I was going to make my own lunch and bring it to work as opposed to eating yet another item from juice generation I have no idea the caloric information of! I pulled out the tuna, made the salad (complete with capers and tomatoes, yum!) and two slices of low calorie bread. And as I was gearing up to go I remembered...

It is still Passover!!!!

No tuna salad sandwich for me! So I put it in the fridge for tomorrow (thank the lord the ending is just around the corner), and ran off to work. I went to Juice Generation and, of course, they are out of every salad they have. Just sandwiches. Just my luck right? Now this Juice Generation is all into cleanses and they have a raw food cleanse that you can buy a package to or you can buy individual items of. So while staring at this raw, vegan, gluten free food, I decided to go for it. I know that just because it is raw, vegan, and gluten free doesn't mean it's low calorie or low fat. But at least it's probably pretty healthy. So I bought this:

And it was very delicious. The filling was mainly nuts or something, and I the sauce tasted like yogurt (but that's not vegan... so clearly I'm wrong). And even if it wasn't low fat or low calorie, I don't think I was putting bad things into me. So that's really the key to it all, right? I really wish Juice Generation would hurry up and update their stupid website! I really do! It would make my lunch choices that much clearer. I sent them another email today asking when they thought they'd launch the website, and no answer yet. After lunch I really wanted something sweet and there was nothing around so I made myself a coffee with a hearty serving of Almond Milk (yes, not fat free, I know!). 

So perhaps this fat flush isn't going as well as I'd like to think it is. I'm thinking about it, but not altering my actions that much. Though, admittedly, sometimes just thinking about it helps and you subconsciously make better choices? Maybe? Maybe? Anyone? No? Okay then...   

In OTHER news, the SkinnyTees dress came today. I pulled it out of the bag and was shocked to learn that this item I was holding was considered a dress and not a tank top. And I will let you see for yourselves: 

Clearly the socks make the outfit. But not as horrible as I expected! I need to buy some black translucent CONTROL TOP stockings. And probably buy (or steal my roommates) racer back bra adjustments. And do something about how it rides up (not demonstrated in this picture). But overall, not a total bust, and not worth returning, I don't think. Right? Am I delusional? Also it might call for a cute belt. Or cardigan. Or long necklace. Or fishnets. Or something. but overall a solid basic SUPER TIGHT dress. I think it will probably look better in another 20lbs, but I also don't think I can't pull it off now!

Hate Week 4!!

So after taking this week off of running because of my minor yoga ouchie last week, I decided to pull my butt out of bed to try Couch to 5k Week-4 again. The weather was cool and super foggy! I could hardly see the water twenty feet away from me. I felt strong when I started running and made it through the first 3 minute run pretty easily. However, when I started doing the first 5 minute run, I felt so tired. By the end of the run my knee was kind of bothering me, I felt winded, I was cramping and I was totally defeated. I actually started formulating this blog post running. After the 2.5 minute walk, I still felt this totally painful cramp in my side. I tried to run through it but probably after a minute of that 3 minute run, I quit. I couldn't catch my breath and my side was so ached up. However, when Suz got to the final run, I made up my mind:

I was going to do it.

At first I set a physical goal. I picked an entrance to the park that looked about 5 minutes away and said to myself, just make it there. Just get there. If that's under 5 minutes, then so be it, but get there. Lo and behold, a lot of panting and discomfort later, I reached the goal with Suz's Michael Jackson tune still blaring in the background. So I kept going. And totally finished the 5 minute run! So I did manage to get two 5 minute runs in there. I'd estimate I ran at least 14 out of the 16 minutes I was supposed to be. Next time, let's hope it's 16/16!

I also bought a dress for myself today that might end up being a total disaster. Way back when, I bought a Groupon for this site Skinny Tees. It's tagline is "the diet you wear" and that sounded pretty appealing to me. I've been surfing the site figuring out what on earth I would buy when I stumbled across this dress. I think there is almost NO chance this will look good on me. It's a "one size fits most" and while I don't think squeezing it on will be the problem, I think I will look like a roly poly, lumpy person. However, all I wanted in the world was that dress in that color (black would've been a safer choice for obvious reasons). So after checking out their return policy, I decided to go for it and buy the dress and hope that at least by the end of the summer it looks as good on me as it does on that model. We'll see.

I know one of the PriorFatGirls has a goal dress that she's been marking her progress on and that seemed like a fine idea to me. If it really is a miserable thing, I'll just return it and buy some tank tops (probably after hating life a little).

Date 2 with the guy tomorrow. I'm pretty excited for it. We're going to a place where I think by now I've had three dates (with other guys), YET he suggested it. Fate, or what?