Feeling Better

Sorry I didn't check in on Monday. I lost 2lbs this week making my March Madness weight loss a sum total of 0. There's only a week left on the challenge but I've learned a lot about myself.

I eat 3 servings of vegetables pretty naturally.
I drink 64oz of water pretty naturally.
I love fruit.
I like checking in with people (not a new realization but still... worth mentioning).
Exercising makes me hungry. It feels good in the moment but I'm not sure I can manage hearty exercise with weightloss right now.
I freaking love sugar and eat more of it than I realize.

Last week I lessened my exercise goal for myself. I said, sure... do it 5 days a week. But have it be intentional walking. No gym clothes packed. Just put on sneakers and march around a little. I walked to work, I walked to bells, I walked and walked. I don't know what I'm burning and I'm sure it's a fraction of what I would've burnt on an elliptical, but I felt better. I also feel like my headspace is improved because not only am I not hungry all the time, but also I'm not as compulsive all the time either. I am feeling a great relief of that anxiety that was bumming me out in my last post.

So I'll add the weights etc after I hit goal weight and am no longer concerned with losing.

I really want to eat sugar all the time. Even if it's just a nibble there... a hershey's kiss there. I love sugar. I've been coming up with desserts that have been satisfying that itch but man. I really didn't understand how much sugar I consumed on a regular basis. Honestly, it's a trap that is probably really easy to fall back into. Awarness is good though. Perhaps a first step?

Another thing I've learned (unrelated to the challenge but still) is that I'm much more inclined to night eat if I eat dinner at home. Why would that be? I think if I go out to a meal it feels really final, but if I'm microwaving an Amy's burrito or something like that. Even if I make a nice sit-down meal... it feels like a cop out. I probably ate out 4 times last week. I was able to make smart restaurant choices with reasonable requests/substitutions. And that feels final. You pay the bill. You go home. You do what you need to do. You go to bed. No eating. But if I'm sitting in my kitchen making food... nibble there... bite there... then after I'm doing dishes and I want some chocolate and nothing is really satisfying and I'm just taking bites of things waiting to settle on that PERFECT THING I WANT. Which part of me knows I won't find in my apartment but part of me doesn't care and just keeps grazing.

How to end this pattern... I'm not sure. But it's good to be aware of when it happens.

I'm learning still. Understanding how to be at this weight is key. Christine was like... hey if you maintain this for the next six months, I'll be happy! Obviously, I'd like to lose still. If that weren't abundantly clear. But fact is that I am doing okay. And I am feeling good about pushing forward.