Friday, April 20, 2012


Now, more than ever (I think), I've been feeling a lot of anxiety around weight loss. I've come far. I'm not done. But I'm close. I'm also at the point where I need to eat like a skinny bitch (pardon my French) in order to look like one.

I think this stresses me out.

And so I eat more.

It's a really unfortunate cycle. I have been just walking a lot lately (no hardcore exercise) and I still have been having my eating/grazing fests. I've been sleeping more. I'm not doing any kind of crazy extra work stuff. And yet, I find myself staring at my food shelf just EATING.

Punishing myself is a bad thing. But compensating for these outbursts are also necessary. And I feel like at one point I understood how to compensate without that seeming like a punishment.

For example, say I eat a ton of sugary cereal some morning. Like a ton. I know that at the end of the day if I make myself an eggwhite omelette with some mushrooms and laughing cow... everyone wins. I got to eat my sugary carbs, and end with a nutritious, low fat, low calorie, protein heavy dinner. But these days I'll eat that dinner. And want more. I'll want spoons of peanut butter or popcorn or ice cream. And I'll take it. And then I feel guilty about that so make OTHER food promises for the next day that I will ALSO not keep.

How do I find that motivation? How do I reduce the anxiety of this? How do I stop punishing myself for bad eating choices WHILE reducing them?

How have I gained 2lbs doing this weight loss challenge?

1 comment:

  1. If you keep this up, you're going to slowly creep back up a weight you want no business being near.

    Have you tried just removing them from your pantry? Or it's food that belongs to your roommates? Out of sight out of mind might work. The whole compensating bad food with good food dynamic is silly anna, you know this. You really should just cut them out entirely for the moment and go back to it when you feel comfortable about being moderate.