Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Adieu Obesity!

As of yesterday, you are reading the words of someone OVERWEIGHT and no longer OBESE (by BMI standards anyway). This was officially my next goal and I just met it! I'm feeling rather jazzed. I somehow managed to drop three pounds this week. Part of me thinks just obsessing over the fat content of food let me refocus, however, toward the end of the week, I really wasn't paying much attention. I also found myself in situations where I couldn't find fat-free items and so just relied on old diet habits (which obviously work too). But I'm feeling really good! This brings the total lost to 45lbs, and the weight with Christine at 40lbs.

In honor of the occasion my friend made me an ecard!

I have to pause to just think about what that means. Over 20 percent of the old me is gone. Poof! Five-ish months ago I started this journey and I'm so excited to see how it's all turned out. I finally feel like I understand moderation. I finally am not feeling totally reliant on food or alcohol to make an evening "fun." I am under 5lbs away from what I weighed as a sophomore in high school (I hit a weight I found so preposterously high so I joined Weight Watchers... that's why I remember what I weighed... funny to think of that as a celebratory weight now).

I feel like throwing an "Anna's Not Obese!" Party. But I wonder if that's 1) a little self congratulatory and 2) just telling too much. I'll think about it. Ideally hosted at my apartment and everyone brings their favorite healthy snacks. 

I have fallen off the exercise wagon. Between my knee, and then getting sick, and then the total frustration that is Cto5k week 4... it just hasn't been happening. I'm going to try and nurse myself to health and then get back on that running. One of my friends told me that people are most likely to quit during week 4 and week 7. Somehow those are the most difficult jumps for people to make.

I did want to briefly mention BAI. I was feeling bummed about my continued obesity when a friend brought this up to me. Apparently it's a new way of formulating how much fat a person has without using their weight as a factor. It simply takes your height and your hip measurement and gives you a number. BMI has been criticized a lot for not taking anything like muscle mass etc into account, and apparently BAI addresses some of those issues. Here is the calculator if you're curious as to where you fall. A few weeks ago I calculated my BAI and I was totally overweight and not obese. Good feeling.

I wonder if this is entering TMI territory, but we're all friends, right? I went on a third date with that boy I've mentioned before. This time the date ended at his apartment. And this is the thinnest I've ever been while dating someone. And just making out with this boy even felt different. I felt smaller (even though this boy is rail thin... I showed a picture of him to Christine and she was CONVINCED he had to be on coke to be that thin... I assured her that he's not). I used to hate having a guy's arm around my stomach because then he could feel all the fat, and I wasn't at all self conscious about that. The lights were on FULL and usually I'd feel uncomfortable with THAT. And there was an early point where I felt a little exposed and I think he picked up on that and said "You're beautiful." And I seriously melted. I felt so feminine and attractive and wanted.

I think I still have a long way to go before I feel totally comfortable with my body and men, but already this felt like a huge change. The last time I made out with someone to this extent was October. And even when I hit this weight zone before in college, I really didn't date. I think I was too obsessed with my diet and all that goes along with being a college sophomore. So this is a new chapter in all this. Again, sorry if this was TMI, but I think it's a real relevant part of my weight loss journey.

No comments:

Post a Comment