So sorry I've been MIA.
Truthfully, I am trying to be less compulsive about my diet. I do remember a point where I felt like I had my groove and I was just living life (and losing weight) and not the other way around. I've decided that if I sit in this range forever... I could be worse off.
I went to Italy and I ate pasta. I tried to be mindful and not overdo anything but also enjoy food, wine, olive oil, company.
Due to Memorial Day and my vacation I haven't seen Christine in almost a month and I think I'm ready to see her once every other week instead of every week.
In terms of food I'm trying to cut down on snacking and to eat "healthy" and not obsess over calories like I have been. Clearly obsessing has gotten me nowhere. I bought some walnuts (GASP!) and am keeping them in my desk at work. If I get hungry I have two or three. I made lentils and rice with a hard boiled egg for lunches. Produce is good. Salads are wonderful.
I feel like if I try and really listen to my body instead of having all these pre-determined snacks, I'll be better off. Emily is coming to NYC for grad school this summer and maybe I can convince her to do some exercise with me. I'm moving soon and will be living right across the street from Central Park and hopefully I can begin to see that as a playground.
I bought a scale right before I left for Italy and I don't seem to have gained weight. Maybe a little. I was having some trouble the week before I left (food-wise) and so I'm pretty sure I'm a little up from when I saw Christine last but I'm not sure.
I've been having some not-feeling-that-great issues and went to my primary care doctor to get some blood taken and he didn't recognize me when I walked into the office. Most people I see on a semi regular basis are used to the way I look right now and so I haven't gotten that reaction in a while. Honestly, it felt good. Better than when EVERYONE was obsessing. Just a little reminder of how far I've come.
I'll try to blog more but I also don't want blogging to get in the way of living. I feel like obsessing doesn't make me lose weight and I was much more successful when I was just embracing life and being mindful. I may turn this into a more life-style type blog with pictures of meals and friends and life a la Balance and Spice.
So. Here's to loving yourself. Here's to good food. Here's to mindfulness.