Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Perhaps you've been noting how "average" I feel. I walk down the street and I feel average. I fit into subway seats like an average person. I think if you met me for the first time you wouldn't guess that I've lost 60+ lbs in the past year. You'd guess I was average and have probably sat comfortably at this weight for my adult life.

While that's not true, I do feel like I've hit somewhere nice. I'm fitting into normally sized clothing, I can even share clothes with some of my roommates -- something I never thought would happen. I'm dating and I feel like my size is not a factor. I did some online dating and in the past I felt like I NEEDED to have them friend me on Facebook before we met in the event that my pictures were misleading. My biggest fear was that I'd show up and they'd look at me and be immediately disappointed. I don't worry about this at all anymore.

I went to Christine and I had gained a pound. Not a big deal and if I've learned anything, it's not to beat yourself up, but just to regroup and push forward. If I dwell, I quit. But Christine and I was talking and she said that this happens a lot. People hit a weight where they feel good and comfortable and even if the UTIMATE goal is not reached, people stall for a bit. They want that extra beer, they want that cookie. I do not feel like I'm overdoing anything. I just am giving into temptation a little more than I had been.

The truth is, as irrelevant as I'm sure BMI is, I'd LOVE to get into the "normal" range. The "healthy" range. And that's about ten pounds away. Once I hit that, I feel like I can regroup and settle on a goal that makes sense for me and my body.

I do think though that I really need to focus though. Not get too comfortable. Not get too lazy. Not get too into old habbits. I bought a food journal and am going to do my best to track the food/beverages I consume. I think a big part of it is just sitting in my kitchen eating peanut butter with a spoon. And I think if I start tracking all of that, I'll start figuring out patterns. Also I'm more accountable to myself. Odds are this trend won't last long, but let's hope.

Also I need to branch out my bar choices. I am getting sick of Bud Light but that's the only drink that feels "safe" for me. Do you guys have any low-calorie drinks/beers that you gravitate towards?

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