Struggling

I see myself falling into old bad eating habits. This is being reflected on the scale. Obviously.

A pattern I'm seeing: when I have unlimited food around me is when I struggle the most. I have always had issues with listening to hunger/fullness cues. Wednesday night we went out for my aunt's birthday to this Asian/Japanese restaurant and my uncle just ordered a TON of food that we were all meant to share. Except I just wanted to eat it all. And so I did. Towards the end I managed to get myself to back off a bit, but it was a fight.

And EVERYONE was going on and on about how thin I looked and how great I looked. And I wanted to say STOP IT. I'm having a hard time... don't enforce the positive because I think that kind of thinking is what got me lazy in the first place.

I know I mention from time to time about how I follow priorfatgirl.com. Elle, one of the bloggers over there, is stuck at around the same weight I am. I wonder if this is a universally tough weight to get below, and once you break the plateau, you're home free? Probably not. It's probably a fight like this all the way down.

Except, it's not a mystery as to why I'm not losing weight! I don't know if it's fair to sit here and scream PLATEAU PLATEAU, because I'M OVEREATING! That's the simple fact of it. I'm eating more than I should be.

I'm moving to a 4th floor walk up this weekend. If that's not exercise, I don't know what is. I went to the gym (very very briefly) yesterday. Hopefully I can force myself into good habits until it starts feeling easy again.